Monday, 20 July 2015

...Battery Charging...

Not fit for human consumption.  That's my mood today.  I like people, I really do.  I like to hear their stories and make them laugh; I like to tousle their hair and rub their backs and do nice things for them. I like people.  But maybe that's the very reason I sometimes find them difficult to be around. 

Because when you really, genuinely like people, they can disappoint you. They can hurt you, they can break your heart.  I refuse to become cynical to protect myself against those possibilities, but continuing to trust in the basic goodness of people does involve risk - a leap of faith.  I am grateful and lucky to have enough living proof surrounding me to know my faith is well-placed; I am grateful and lucky to have held two babies this weekend; I am grateful and lucky to share a home with young boys who make me laugh out loud, and to count my guy and my Grammy and my brother as my best friends.  I know I am luckier than most - and it makes me hold my breath sometimes.

And so, today I want to lay in a dark room with my dogs and 16 hours of Will & Grace on DVD.  Or a stack of books.  I don't want to cash in my faith-in-the-human-race chips, I just want to recharge my battery. 

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