There are moments when I am NOT over it. When I want to tell him how much I hate him, how much I fucking hate him, and everything he did to me over the years. I want to list, again, all the things he stole from me, all the things he put me through, all the pain he caused me: deliberate, conscious, manipulative cruelty. The things he stole with a monetary value - the tens of thousands of dollars he coerced out of me. The things even more valuable with no cash value:
my chance to have children, my self-esteem, my belief and trust in the basic goodness of other people.
They say to live a good life is the ultimate revenge. They say that one day, if you're truly happy, you can let all past hurts and injustices go. I can't say I believe it. But I'll keep trying.
Totally normal and healthy feelings. You will never get over it, but time will lessen the sting. It's still pretty fresh as far as time is concerned. I think you have handled everything extremely well given the circumstances. Try to focus on all the things you have gained rather than what you lost. Love you!
ReplyDeleteBonnie - you are amazing. Thank you so much for such a wonderful comment - love you right back!
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